The Curious Path to Joy: How Asking "Why" Can Transform Your Teaching and Parenting

Why Curiosity Matters More Than Knowledge in Education and Family Life

"Be curious, not judgmental!"

Whether this wisdom originated from American poet Walt Whitman or the beloved TV character Ted Lasso is a matter of debate. Regardless of who deserves the credit, I believe that curiosity, truly being curious, can lead you to a greater sense of joy and happiness in life. It opens your mind to the beauty of the world around you, introduces you to new ideas, and helps you develop stronger personal relationships. The opposite of being curious is being judgmental, and being judgmental limits your mind's ability to grow, making the world around you feel bland and disconnected.

The Impact of Curiosity

Two weeks ago, I was at the Atlanta airport preparing to spend the weekend in Philadelphia, visiting my family and catching up with one of my college buddies. The Atlanta airport is always bustling, and I felt like I was following the herd, waiting in the long line to check my bags. While I was focused on making sure I left little space between myself and the person in front of me, a nice older woman tapped me on the shoulder and said, "I like your shirt. Are you from Philly?"

I smiled and was excited to tell her I was born there. I thanked her for saying hello, but she probably had no idea that 90% of my shirts represent the Philadelphia Eagles. I could see how my bright, “Kelly Green” throwback shirt would stand out in Atlanta. After I thanked her, she shared, "My father used to play for the Eagles."

Her statement captured my attention, and my curiosity was piqued. I had to ask who her father was. With a huge smile, she responded that her father was Norm Van Brocklin. I was speechless, and all I could get out of my mouth was, "Wow, it is such a pleasure to meet you. Go Birds!"

I was in awe that she was curious enough to ask about my shirt and that she took the time to introduce herself to a perfect stranger, taking a genuine interest in me. In that bustling airport, I was amazed that a little tap on my shoulder stirred up my curiosity. There were so many things rattling in my head that I wanted to know about this stranger and her father. I never met Norm Van Brocklin, nor did I ever see him play, but I knew he was an NFL Hall of Famer. I had listened to all the stories my Pop Pop and dad told about the 1960 World Championship team—how they raved about the Eagles beating the Packers and shared story after story about the greats like Tommy McDonald, Chuck Bednarik, and the team's quarterback, Norm Van Brocklin.

When I arrived in Philly, I told my brother about my new friend. My brother immediately jumped on me and asked, "Did you get a picture with her or an autograph?" I disappointed my brother that day, but my takeaway from meeting Norm Van Brocklin's daughter left a fantastic impression on me. As Maya Angelou once said, people will forget what you said and did, but they'll never forget how you made them feel.

As soon as she walked away, she probably had no idea the impact she had on me. My anxiety about navigating the Atlanta airport—the busiest airport in the world—transformed into joy, bringing a big smile to my face. On my flight, all I could think about was how someone's curiosity could exemplify not only her joy but also how she was able to pass that joy along to me. Even if I didn't know who her father was, it still would have meant a lot that she went out of her way to acknowledge me. She could have been like most of the thousands of travelers walking through the airport with their heads down, just focused on getting to their next step in the process toward their destination. What caused Norm Van Brocklin's daughter to tap me on the shoulder?

I believe that curiosity is the spark that ignites joy in life—it's the desire to ask questions and explore the world around you. Being curious can be your "superpower," opening your door to joy by helping you discover and better understand the world around you and your connection to it.

Being curious can be a crucial link to living a life filled with joy. And here's another important note: when your curiosity leads to joy, your happiness can bring joy to others.

Why Be Curious?

Albert Einstein emphasized the importance of curiosity, often stating that it's more important than knowledge. He believed that curiosity is a powerful driver of learning and innovation, and that the ability to question and seek answers fuels progress. He also highlighted the importance of imagination in the context of curiosity, suggesting that imagination is crucial for exploring the world and envisioning possibilities.

Curiosity is a powerful force that keeps our minds flexible and open, allowing us to see things from new perspectives and find joy in the little things. When we nurture curiosity, we invite a sense of aliveness into our lives—an aliveness that can transform our daily experiences, relationships, and our work. Dr. Jennifer Uhrlass (Psychology Today, February 9, 2025) posted an article titled The Power of Curiosity for Improving Your Life, noting that while curiosity is often associated with children and their boundless questions, it is a trait that adults can nurture and cultivate at any stage of life. When consciously embraced, curiosity becomes a transformative habit that expands horizons and fuels personal and professional growth.

Exercising the power of curiosity is a transformative practice that enriches every aspect of life. It drives learning, strengthens relationships, fosters creativity, and helps us navigate uncertainty with resilience and openness. By embracing a curious mindset, we unlock our potential to grow and make meaningful contributions to the world. Curiosity reminds us that life is an endless journey of discovery and that the questions we ask often matter as much as the answers we find.

Practical Ways to Cultivate Curiosity

Being curious is as simple as:

• Asking more questions that begin with "why" or "how" rather than simply what, when, or where. For example, asking a teacher, "Why did you become a teacher?" versus simply asking, "What do you like about teaching?"

• Showing genuine interest in others by asking questions that begin with "why." This is extremely important with your family. If you ask your child, "How was your day?" the typical response is "fine." Go beyond fine and ask "why" questions that invite deeper conversation.

• Stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new things or visiting new places. New experiences can lead to finding things that bring you joy or opportunities to make new friends.

• Looking for new details on your daily routes—whether it's your typical drive to work or to the store. Notice small things and ask questions about what you see. If there's a new piece of land cleared, we wonder, "What will be built there?"

• Researching things that pique your interest. Talk to people who share the same interests. People love talking about the things they're passionate about. I love interacting with the salespeople at the golf store.

• Being active by participating in activities that bring you joy, rather than being passive and watching them on TV.

• Avoiding prejudged ideas and opinions about what's on the news and social media. Try to expand your mind by understanding why things are happening and how they impact your connection to the world around you.

I know life can be fast-paced, and we're often surrounded by people who keep their heads down and don't care to take an interest in the world around them—just visit the airport or Costco. If you step back, breathe, and become more curious about the world around you and your connection to it, you'll notice more things, and maybe you'll find more people and experiences that bring you joy.

Remember, curiosity doesn't kill the cat—it brings it to life.

Dr. Edward J. Spurka